Running away?

I met with a friend the other day who i haven't seen for two weeks. She said that i seemed better. I guess that is a good thing. I don't feel better inside though. It was impossible for me to keep how i felt concealed but now i am finding i am more able to do so. I probably shouldn't, it's what got me into this mess in the first place. It's been so long that i sort of feel like i should be better by now. Maybe that is why i am trying to show that i am better? Is it more damaging in the long term? Have i actually accepted that there is a problem? It seems like i haven't if i am trying to hide it. Or am i hiding it due to shame? I guess the positive is my brain seems to be functioning again. A couple of weeks ago i could barely process what had happened in the same day. Now i am full of questions.

Anyway my way of dealing with this situation is to jump on a plane. Which i will be doing tomorrow. If spending a month away from this place doesn't work then i don't know what will. I am not running away. I just think that getting away and spending time with friends in a land far away will help me clear my head. It won't be a cure but it might help me feel strong enough to confront this when i get back. That is the plan anyway.

I really hope it works.