This last week I've really felt like I've been going downhill and rapidly. I've been struggling. In all honesty I have felt like going home. I don't know what to do to make things better. I don't know what anyone else can do to make things better. Today was different. I was given an opportunity and I embraced it. I got to experience a whole new way of working with a completely different group of patients. I even got to get hands on which was great. The whole experience was fantastic and it made me feel great. It reignited the fire in me. Talking to other people from different cultures about how they live and work was eye opening. It made me realise that I'm not stuck and that there are plenty of opportunities out there, I just need to find them and take them.
This experience has by no means cured me or fixed the problem but it made me think in a more positive light. That is the problem sometimes, feeling positive. It's easy for people to say just be positive but when you feel like I have felt it seems almost impossible. It just takes little moments like this that make me feel that actually not everything is as dark as it seems. I can see a sliver of light and if I keep searching I will find the source. I don't know how long it is going to take to find this elusive light but I will keep looking, I have to.
Today has been good and I hope for more days like this. The pessimist in me is expecting something rubbish to come along, it always does. Well it always seems to so why should I expect anything different. For now I'll try to be happy with the good that came from today.
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