Feeling weird

To be perfectly honest at the minute i'm feeling a little weird. It's almost like my brain is hyperactive. The odd thing is that there is nothing filling my mind. The only way i can describe it is to imagine turning a bicycle upside down and spinning the wheel. It's moving really fast but with no purpose. That's what my mind feels like. Normally when my brain is like this it is full of ideas and thoughts. I'm really struggling to concentrate through the nothingness. It's not just my brain that feels nothing. My whole self seems to feel nothing. I can't seem to get angry or sad even when there is reason to. I don't really understand what is happening. Where have all my emotions gone? Why have they gone? Is it that i'm taking a break from feeling anything after all that has happened? This is all so strange. This is nothing like i've ever felt before. Somebody told me that it is perfectly normal but it doesn't feel normal. Is it some sort of detachment? There is no darkness and no light just a kind of limbo. I don't feel depressed but i don't feel happy. To quote Little Fish lyrics: You feel nothing but you're not dead yet. It sometimes feels like there is a huge ball of energy in my chest that is going to explode. It makes me feel an urge to do something completely random. Something i wouldn't normally do. I don't know if this all stems from facing up to what has happened the other day or if i felt like this before. Having to answer questions about how i felt and wanting to lie to make it seem like things weren't that bad. I didn't lie i told the truth. I had to face the fact i wanted to do some pretty stupid things. Did i make an attempt to take my life? Apparently not because i stopped myself but i started with the intention of doing so. You have to feel pretty crappy to do something like that. These are the sort of things i distanced myself from and it was like being hit by a lorry opening up about it all. Is that why i feel how i do, some sort of self preservation? If i don't feel anything then nothing like that can happen again.