Empty

How can you feel so much but feel so totally empty at the same time?

I would much rather feel a physical pain than this. At least you can take analgesia to lessen it. Nothing seems to make this invisible pain go. It is relentless. It is tiring. My body and my mind are exhausted. Every single day is a battle but i am surviving. Just. I have thought about giving up. So many times i have thought how nice it would be to not feel like this. There's my point. If i did give up i wouldn't get to feel that moment when the rain stops, the clouds part and the sun shines. I want to feel that.

I have to keep fighting. If not for me than for everyone i care about. It will get better. One day i will be me again. I just have to be patient and wait for that day to come. In the meantime i have to try and fill the emptiness.