Table Tennis Tuesday

I am particularly fond of tuesday for one reason....table tennis.

A friend has a table and every tuesday (well maybe not all) a few of us get together and have a knock about. The trouble is i am very competitive and and not all that keen on losing.

Since we first started about a year ago i have definately improved. Last week i had a bit of a eureka moment. Until now i really struggled to put spin on the ball but as soon as i started hitting the ball i found i was putting spin on it. The longer i played the better i got at it. I don't understand how one day you can't do something and the next you just get it. I'm glad i have though because it means i can pull out some unexpected shots.

It's nothing serious but it's really good to get out and do something different.

Night out at the theatre.

Despite having a raging temperature and feeling pants all day Sunday, i had something to look forward to....the theatre. Now me being me, it wasn't to see a show but to see Mr Jimmy Carr. I have been to see Jimmy in Oxford for the last five years and every year he has got better and better. Initially he stood there and reeled off line after line of jokes. It almost felt a little awkward. But last night proved how much he has grown as a performer. His level of interaction with the audience is much greater than when i first saw him. In fact he actually had audience members on stage with him. He seems more relaxed and i think that makes for a better show. Of course the material he uses isn't for the faint hearted but everyone has their own taste in comedy.

So yes i had to sit through the show feeling awful and possibly spreading my germs to 1500 other people. It did mean i got to pay a lot of money for some yummy interval ice cream which soothed my throat a treat. Oh and i got to enjoy the strange and often inappropriate ramblings of one of my favourite comedians.

The Lil Fat Comedy Club

I have been going to this little comedy club for a few years now and i think it is fantastic. What better than going out maybe once or twice a month and watching some live comedy? As well as seeing some up and coming comedians you get to see more established acts such as Sarah Millican (i had never heard of her until i saw her at Fat Lils then she suddenly appeared all over the tv!), Jo Caulfield, Greg Davies and Stuart Lee just to name a few.

However on Wednesday i had the pleasure of watching Milton Jones. Absolute genius. Prior to this i had seen him on Mock The Week and watched him at Reading. This was different though. It is only a small club so there was only about 80 people in there. This makes it such a nice intimate evening and you get to really appreciate acts. Your not straining to see or hear and it hasn't been edited to show what someone else wants you to see.

I'm so pleased i discovered Fat Lils. It is a little gem hidden away behind a door on a street that most people don't even notice. Venture through the unknown and you may just find something special like i did.

September

Wow it's windy outside today! It's that time of year when you know a turn in the weather is imminent and autumn will be upon us. Darker nights, wind, rain (although that doesn't appear to be a seasonal thing), leaves turning colour. These are all signs that it's nearly my birthday. It won't be long until the heating is on and people are panic buying christmas presents.

This year seems to have flown passed. Not that long ago i was stressing about the start of uni. That moved on to stressing about placement and finally results. Even the stress of my graduation last week seems such a long time ago. I know that i have done things this year other than work and uni but i can't remember.

You know when your driving through snow at night and it looks like your in an episode of Star Trek going at warp speed? That's what this year has felt like.

My dad always warned me. He told me as i grew up the years would go quicker but i never believed him. I'm starting to now.

My grandma said something to me yesturday which saddened me a little. We were talking about my cousin and all the travelling she has been doing. My grandma said 'You need to live your life whilst you can because when you your like me, sat here at night on your own, it's only your memories that keep you company'.

My Graduation

What an amazing day!

I got to uni and directed my parents to the canteen. I loitered in the foyer for a while then decided to go and get sorted. It must have been nerves. First i went and registered and got my guest tickets then i made my way to the robing area. Once i had that mortar board and gown on i felt amazing. All the work i had put in to get to this moment. I went to find my parents and as i was walking down the corridor people were looking and it felt so good. I know that makes me sound like i have a massive ego but it was my day after all.

The ceremony itself was quite boring in all truth. We had to stand for the procession to come in then it was what seemed like endless speeches. They called us up a row at a time. I know that when i stood to walk to where we queued i was so nervous. When i got to the front and the Dean called my name i just looked straight at the Vice Chancellor and walked. I had a huge grin on my face. I shook her hand, she congratulated me and that was it. Over.

The pride i felt on friday was immense. Even my dad was choked up and gave me a hug. This is from a man who rarely shows his emotion. I can't wait for my official photo to arrive.

Now it seems like it was so long ago and at times i wonder if it actually happened. I know it did though. Even my friend in Brunei got to watch it thanks to the marvel of modern technology. It was truely the best day of my life (so far) and i'm pleased i got to share it with friends and family.

I'm still smiling.

Graduation stress

Well the time is nearly upon me. Friday i will be graduating from uni. I'm very excited about it, who wouldn't be? After a lot of hard work i've finally achieved my goal.

It was all fine until last night anyway. I woke up this morning having dreamt that i wasn't in the right clothing, i had forgotten my cap etc etc. Basically it was a total nightmare and i looked a fool in front of everybody. This has lead to unbelievable stressing. I have checked all the details several times, written down the timings, where everything is, you name it i've checked it.

I'm sure it's going to be absolutely fine. I'm not going to fall flat on my face on stage. Maybe if i think positively it will help?

Whatever happens it is one of the most important days of my life.

Jury Service Joke

In February i recieved a letter calling me up for jury service just after easter. This clashed with some important uni deadlines so i asked to defer it for 12 months. They then sent me a letter telling me i had to do it in September. Hardly 12 months is it. So if i got a job after graduating this new date was bound to clash with my start date. I did get a job and explained that i had been called up for jury service so arranged to start after it was finished. That all seems fine. Today i got a phone call telling me they have too many jurors and i have two options a) be excused from jury service meaning i wouldn't have to do it or b) stay on jury service. My question is why the hell do they have too many jurors? Do they not think people would make arrangements to fit this in to their schedule? It has really annoyed me that they have waited a week before i'm due to start to tell me this. If they had contacted me sooner i could have changed my plans. As it is i am staying on jury service because i made provisions for it. Bloody idiots. I had better get a decent case!

Reading Festival 2010

So i went to Reading this year and kind of wish i hadn't. Previous years that i have been there has always been a band or bands that i want to see. This year nothing.

For me the best part was the comedians i saw. Jason Byrne just ran with the flow and ad libbed, using the audience as material. He was very funny. Milton Jones, i don't really need to say anything his one liners are classic. Some groaners but hilarious. Robin Ince was funny from what i could hear. I missed some of it from being deafened by the awful sound coming from either the main stage or festival republic stage. The least funny comedian i saw was Angelos Epithemiou of Shooting Stars fame. I didn't stay around very long to find out if he got any funnier. I doubt it.

These are some of the bands i saw:

The Cribs - They were in the background, i think i fell asleep. Nothing special.

Biffy Clyro - After hearing a couple of songs on the music channels i was really looking forward to seeing them. Total disappointment.

Paramore - Pointless noise. Is she the new Avril Lavigne?

Cypress Hill - Old and past it. They have two songs at most. I actually walked off to get some food and when i came back 15 minutes later it sounded like the same song.

One Night Only - The lead singer has a good voice but they are just typical of bands these days. Nothing new.

Limp Bizkit - I actually enjoyed some of the songs. I did irritate me when Mr Durst decided to wander off and say hello to the crowd. I want to listen to music not watch someone shaking hands.

Weezer - I don't know very many Weezer songs but they were very entertaining. My favourite part was the cover of MGMT-Kids/Lady GaGa-Poker Face complete with a blonde wig. It really got the crowd going.

The Libertines - A long awaited reunion apparently. I have never been and never will be a fan of them. The most enjoyable moment was when the sound was cut due to a fight or something in the crowd. Not eagerly awaited from my point of view.

Dizzee Rascal - I can't say i've ever listened to him much but i actually really enjoyed it. The highlight was probably the encore which was of course Bonkers.

Guns N' Roses - The biggest disappointment of all. We waited an hour before deciding to leave at which point Axl decided he was going to come on stage. The crowd were booing and chanting we want Slash which was quite amusing. The most amusing moment full stop was when Axl shouted 'I wanna hear you scream!' The response? 'Booooooooo. F**k off!' I'm glad i had the opportunity to see GNR but i would never pay to see them again. Axl took the piss and i feel sorry for the fans who paid to see them and were robbed.

Mr Fogg - I heard one song on the BBC Introducing stage and really enjoyed it. Bit different.

Little Fish - I first saw them at Brixton Academy supporting Hole. The sound was so much better on the Introducing stage. The lead singer reminds me a lot of Chrissie Hynde but i really like the music.

This year i discovered a milkshake stall with yummy shakes my favourite was Jaffa Cake. It actually tasted like a Jaffa Cake! Also there was a noodle stand from which i bought a box of never ending noodles. Bargin, filled me up for the day. Thumbs down to the hot dog stand which gave me a bad stomach. I didn't really drink all that much maybe two pints a day. By drink i mean alcohol. I'm glad i bought some wellies. It was really muddy gettting into the arena on friday, saturday it was ok everywhere but after the rain on saturday night the whole place was a mud pit. I think it says it all that i actually bought a chair to sit on. Maybe it's a sign i'm getting old?

I knew it wouldn't last!

When i started this i knew in the back of my mind it wouldn't last and i was right! The last time i wrote something was 5 months ago. It's not that my life isn't that interesting, i am just rubbish at writing blogs.

So what has happened in the last 5 months. I've finished uni and qualified as a nurse and got a job. I broke my wrist. I went to Centre Parcs with my friend who incidentally has gone off to live in Brunei. I've been to Alton Towers and once again reminded myself how much i hate rollercoasters. I've been to a wedding. My laptop died so i bought a new one and have been thrust into a whole new world as a result. I went to Silverstone to watch the BTCC. More recently i have just got back from Reading Festival which i shall report on more fully after some sleep. I'm sure there are other things but i can't remember everything. Well i guess i would if i wrote it down!

Let's try again. I'll attempt to write something a bit more frequently than every 5 months.

Busy busy busy

I have been really busy lately with uni work. This is mainly due to leaving it until the last minute as per usual. It's done though and now i have some more to procratinate over. Nothing will stop me remembering what happened 5 years ago today.

Thought of you with love today,
but that is nothing new.
I thought about you yesturday,
and days before that too.
I think of you in silence,
I often speak your name.
All i have are memories,
And a picture in a frame.
Your memory is a keepsake,
With which i'll never part.
God has you in His keeping,
I have you in my heart.

Memories.

I love to sit and remember times gone by. Sometimes they are nice memories but occaisionally the bad ones slip in there too. At this time of year i do it more than usual. Only because the one person who should be here now, isn't. I try to imagine what life would be like had hers not been taken far too soon. Of course this is impossible, you just create a vision of what you would've liked it to have been. The hardest thing i find to remember are the secrets i was told. It's nearly 10 years since i was told but there is one specific secret that eats away at my insides. I want to ask her family if they knew but i know if they didn't it would just cause so much heartache. It's like an expanding ball in my chest and it's crushing me. There is a need to release myself of the pressure but who to? Who is to say once i've revealed the secret that it would make me feel any better? It's 5 years since that day, that awful day. It hit me hard and i'm not sure if i'll ever be truely over it. You just learn to cope with it. They say the good die young and never was a truer word spoken.

I have a dream.

We have all done it at some point. Asked that question which sends us off in to a land of dreams. What would you do if you won the lottery? It's then that we reel off a list of things we would buy, things we would do, who we would give money to or not. I have done it many times. I would buy a house and a new car, go on holiday and give some to my chosen charity and family. These i expect are the bog standard initial answers but are what most people would actually do. What do you do after this though? Personally i would follow the F1 season around the world, pay for a ride in a two seater F1 car and a BTCC car if i could. I'm sure there are loads of other things i would do but those are the must do. Of course all this depends on the extent of your fortune. More importantly it depends on that 14 million to 1 stroke of luck that would make these dreams a reality.

There is the alternative way...marry a rich man. No, seriously the alternative way is to work for these goals. If you really want something you have to believe that it is within your reach and that one day you will achieve it. Buying a car, house, giving to charity and going on holiday are all achievable as proved by millions of people every year. As for the others they all come at a price and the question is, are you willing to work to pay that price? You don't have to wait for that unlikely lottery win to be able to do the things you dream of. If they are something that you really want you will go through hell and high water to get them. Everything is within reach if you want it to be. It would be easy to wait for a windfall but how much more satisfying is it when you know how hard you have worked for something. It makes you appreciate it so much more.

Those dreams don't have to be dreams. Still it's nice to wander off in to that magical world where anything is possible with no effort required now and then.

A minor irritation.

There are days when people just get on my nerves. I'm sure i'm not the only one to suffer from this. Stupid questions, silly comments or just something said in the wrong tone of voice seem to be the final thing to push me over the edge. For whatever reason i have peaks and troughs of being generally intolerant of people and more specifically idiots. It happened to me today in fact. The one rule for one and another for everyone else really pissed me off. Normally these silly things would just be batted away with maybe a slight note of irritation registered. Other days i seem to turn into Satan himself. It can be troublesome having such a firey temper, like having to sheepishly face the person you have blown up at because you need their help for example. Sometimes i do wonder if i should see someone about my mood swings which sway dramatically from one extreme to the other. Then i think sod it this is just who i am and if people don't like it then it's their problem. I did used to have a real problem venting my anger and frustration at the appropriate times. These days i seem to have a hold on it although i do have the occasional slip up. Like today but why the hell not? I'm not perfect, i'm human.

Procrastination is a pain in the ass.

Procrastination can be described as putting off or delaying or defering an action to a later time. I seem to do this an awful lot, especially when i have deadlines looming. It is almost as though i get a rush from doing things at the last minute. The amount of times i have had weeks or months to do something but have still left it until the day before. What makes certain people like this? Does it mean i'm lazy?

I have tried writing lists of tasks to do each day or writing lists of tasks in order of urgency. It either works for a day or two or i end up putting things off...again. I have so many things that i need to do at the moment but i just haven't got the motivation to do them. Maybe it is because they are incredibly tedious jobs? The thing is i've learnt in the past that if i keep on top of things they tend to take half the time. Surely this would be a motivating factor to get on with it? Lots of little jobs rather than lots of mammoth jobs.

The saying goes that a leopard can't change it's spots. I seem to be one of those leopards. The ridiculous thing is that i recognise what the problem is and i know how to change it. I just have this inability to actually make the change. I expect there are certain people that would look at this and say that it shows that i do not have the drive and focus to succeed at anything. They would probably be right in some respects. Although when i really want something nothing will stop me from getting it. These 'things' tend to be exciting and different. This points to my inability to cope with the more mundane aspects of my everyday living. If tidying and meeting deadlines was able to ignite the same burning passion then my guess is that procrastination would no longer be my achilles heel. And there we have it, the solution. To beat this hinderance i need to inject something interesting into the monotonous things i have to do. So the task now is to find those interesting things...i'll start tomorrow.

The alternative comedian.

Tonight i went to watch Stuart Lee at a rather intimate gig in Oxfordshire. Now i am familiar with most comedians and their style but this was someone with whom i had no experience. I did contemplate using Youtube to familiarise myself with his comedy buti decided not to. In the end i went to the gig blind and with no idea what to expect. I knew the name, he has after all had his own TV show, which i failed to watch. Maybe i should have taken this as a sign that maybe Stuart Lee was not really my thing. I think that it may be ignorant to judge someone without seeing them perform.

Watching Stuart Lee perform is a very surreal experience. He is an intelligent man and it was a very intelligent show. I'm sure that there were people that didn't get certain things. I won't lie, i admit that i struggled at points. When i sat down i didn't know what to expect. Now i know that his shows involve satirical, dry and occasionally dark humour. I laughed but not all of the time. Some things were funny and others just bizarre. It was an enjoyable evening despite leaving me perplexed at times. Would i go and see him again? The truthful answer is i really don't know.

And so we begin.

The other day i picked up the post and waiting for me was a big brown envelope. I looked at the name printed on the back, Her Majesty's Court Service. My initial thoughts ran through every possible reason i could get summoned to court. Have i not paid a ticket? Have i been implicated in a crime i know nothing off? Is someone claiming money in my name? You get the idea. Then like a slap in the face it hit me, Jury service.

Most people probably never get to do this in the 52 years that you are eligable. So i did feel a pang of guilt at feeling it was a burden rather than a privilege. The biggest reason for me feeling this way was the timing. I'm at a very important stage at Uni and it had the potential to really screw things up. Luckily you can defer for 12 months. So i still have to do it but just not right now.

I was reading up on the interweb about the processes and a)it seems a little bit scary, b)it's one hell of a responsibility and c)it appears to induce a high level of boredom. I know you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover but it is hard not to sometimes. Who knows it might be one of the most interesting things i have ever had the fortune of being randomly picked to do.