Memories.

I love to sit and remember times gone by. Sometimes they are nice memories but occaisionally the bad ones slip in there too. At this time of year i do it more than usual. Only because the one person who should be here now, isn't. I try to imagine what life would be like had hers not been taken far too soon. Of course this is impossible, you just create a vision of what you would've liked it to have been. The hardest thing i find to remember are the secrets i was told. It's nearly 10 years since i was told but there is one specific secret that eats away at my insides. I want to ask her family if they knew but i know if they didn't it would just cause so much heartache. It's like an expanding ball in my chest and it's crushing me. There is a need to release myself of the pressure but who to? Who is to say once i've revealed the secret that it would make me feel any better? It's 5 years since that day, that awful day. It hit me hard and i'm not sure if i'll ever be truely over it. You just learn to cope with it. They say the good die young and never was a truer word spoken.