The past hurts

I haven't written on here for a long time. There is a reason for this, I've been keeping a written diary. A recent discovery of old diaries has been somewhat difficult for me of late. Lots of unhappy memories have been stirred and I have discovered forgotten things. It has left me in a bit of a crisis emotionally. It hasn't helped that all of this has been unearthed in a particularly difficult week anyway. It was nice to read what I got up to with my cousin but equally painful. It is 9 years now and it still hurts. The long and short of it is that I have realised there are unresolved issues from my childhood. I didn't grieve when I should have and I didn't accept help when I should have. Obviously as an adult looking back 18 years it is easy to see the issues. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. I accept that I didn't cope well but I don't understand and that is what bothers me. Until I can understand my reactions to what happened only then will I be able to find some peace. Some people may ask what the point is of dragging up the past. It is affecting my current life and it will continue to do so until I get some closure. I don't know how I will do that but I will have to find a way if I want to be free from the shackles of my past. How do you fix what is broken if what is broken cannot be fixed?