A mini break

So I had a little holiday recently, which was nice. It started off with me almost falling asleep after my night shift while having my hair cut and not noticing the amount of hair being gradually cut from my head. The result is a short, bold style. Bold being the word used by my friend to describe it. I must admit I wasn't happy with it but I've got used to it now. Anyway it's hair so it'll grow. I also randomly got my Tragus pierced and booked another tattoo. I do these spontaneous things sometimes. The Tragus piercing hurt like hell for a few days but it's ok now. At least i can lie on that side of my face without waking up yelping in pain. Bristol...I had to travel to Bristol for a Hen Night which I was a little anxious about. Loads of people I didn't know and sharing a room with a stranger. Those were the least of my problems. I set off at 1:30pm thinking I'd have plenty of time as I was only an hour away. All was going well until 5 miles from the junction when the traffic on the motorway came to a standstill. I didn't know Bristol balloon festival was on so the whole place was snarled up. I sat and I crawled. I tried to go the right way but the one way system is a nightmare. The traffic wasn't moving. I phoned my friend and was ranting down the phone. It was 5:30pm when I abandoned my car down a cobbled street. I collared an old couple and put £1 in the meter. I wasn't particularly bothered about a ticket as I was running mega late. We were having a meal at 6:30pm. I got up to the room at 5:45pm and was rather sweaty and annoyed from being stuck in the car all that time. Four painful hours it took me to do a one hour journey. Anyway I felt a bit better after a rushed shower. We went to an Italian which was average at best. The pasta was not great. The chicken tasted like frozen sliced meat. I could have thrown it together at home and done better. They did a Mr and Mrs type question thing which was kind of funny. Wether went on to a club where you got a free shot, however you had to buy a drink first. I went for a black currant shot which was like drinking a mixture of neat vodka and black currant cordial. A few of us did jaeger bombs as well. Oh I forgot to mention the pink hen party sash and penis straws we had to brandish. I didn't enjoy that particularly. This club was just rammed with other hen nights. Eventually after a few drinks we moved on to another club which I didn't enjoy. We went into a room which was ablaze with strobe lights and music so loud you couldn't hear anyone let alone hear yourself think. A bloke tried talking to me but gave up in the end because we couldn't understand each other. A girl hit me in the head with her cowboy hat after swinging it around her head. Fortunately it wasn't the side I'd just had pierced. We left and went back to the hotel and a few of us went to Subway to get something to eat. I did enjoy myself to a point but I'm not a clubber. The funniest moment was a load of pissed blokes who were giving us abuse. I was glaring at one particularly aggressive bloke and he was glaring back but he didn't notice the billboard he was heading towards and walked full pelt into it. I laughed so hard. When I got to my car in the morning I was relieved to find a) my car still there and in one piece and b) no parking ticket. Somerset...I set off for Nether Stowey and to my relief there was no traffic so I made it in about an hour. It wasn't what I was expecting. It is quite a big village and full of life. The first day we just chilled really. It was nice because I was exhausted. I did go to bed early but I needed to. The next day we went to Coleridge Cottage which is in the village. I did a bit of dressing up and wrote a poem with a quill. It was quite interesting. We sat and had afternoon tea which was nice. I think it was that evening we drove to the beach a Dunster. On the Tuesday we went to Dunster Castle which was really good. We did a basement tour and saw the old kitchens. We went around the castle itself which was huge and again did a bit of dressing up. I put on a chain mail head piece which weighed an absolute tonne. There was another area with a hunting jacket and an old old shot gun which also weighed a tonne. We then wandered into the medieval village which had the most amazing old houses. We had lunch in a pub and I got a little sunburnt as it was quite a hot day. That night we had dinner in one of the pubs and participated in the pub quiz. We did our best and came a resounding last. It was fun though. On the wednesday we went to Taunton to the Museum of Somerset and guess what, I dressed up again. Three different army uniforms from different periods and a Roman toga. The museum was surprisingly big and there was a lot to see. I felt a bit unwell so we sat down and had a drink when I suggested going to Fleet Air Arms Museum. Why not? Off we went and got there at 3:40pm just in time for the Carrier experience. Everyone got in a helicopter and the doors shut then it started vibrating as though it was flying us to the HMS Ark Royal. When we exited we were on the landing deck and it was full of planes. There were video screens which simulated planes taking off and landing. We moved on and it took you through different parts of the ship and a chap on a screen told you about the different areas. They were basically the communication rooms. When we came out there was another room which you went in and it had video screens and showed the ships landing deck at work. It used wind and the floor dropped to add to the experience. We came out of there and headed straight to Hall 4 where Concorde was situated. We climbed the stairs and I was taken aback by how small the interior was. It was so small. We walked up to the cockpit and I couldn't stand up straight. I was having to bend over the ceiling was so low. I spoke to a lady a the shop and she said that's why it was referred to as the sardine tin. I'm not sure I'd have wanted to fly on it having seen how compact it is. When we got back we went to Blue Anchor for fish and chips by the sea. It was yummy. We then had a little stroll on the beach before heading back. I set off for home at about 9:40pm and got back at 00:15pm. It was a long journey but I think driving around all day hadn't helped. It was nice to get home and back to my own bed. I had a really nice few days away and I really enjoyed the part of Somerset we were in. I think I needed to get away from work etc. It'll be rubbish going back but we have to return to normality at some point. It was nice to see my girlies as well. I was glad to hear they behaved themselves at the vets but I think they were glad to get home too.

Saving lives

The other day I found myself in a position which was thrust upon me with no warning. When people become ill in my line of work there are usually other people in the immediate vicinity and equipment to deal with emergencies. I had neither. I was lead to a person in the middle of nowhere essentially. That is what it felt like. I have undergone years of training and attended many courses. Nothing can prepare you for reality. It is all down to you. Your decision, your actions could alter the course of someone's life. As soon as I saw this person I knew it was serious which was confirmed when I could find no pulse or signs of breathing. I started CPR & after a short while the patient came back to life. By the time help had arrived they were in the recovery position and regaining consciousness. I will not lie, I needed a change of underwear. The adrenalin surge was so great I was shaking & had to take 5 minutes to regroup. It was almost surreal, as though nothing had happened as everyone went back to their work. The positives of this experience are of course the person being okay but also it made me feel more confident. Being made to deal with that situation on my own made me realise that I could manage it. It is all very well being surrounded by equipment and colleagues but how do you cope on your own? Of course someone else would have assisted that person if it hadn't have been me but the time difference could have made a difference. On the other hand there was a negative to my experience. That night I dreamt of my cousin. I dreamt that she had collapsed in a public place and although she didn't survive her family had the chance to say goodbye. Somebody had done the same as I had that day. They had gone to her aid. I woke up from that dream quite distressed. It is something that I have always wished had happened but with the obvious result of her surviving. I now feel very troubled by my actions. Clearly I am pleased I was able to help someone in such a way but it has unearthed so many repressed feelings. It all boils down to that horrible question...what if?

Jury Service

A couple of weeks ago I finally begun my jury service. I was a bit anxious as I walked into the court house. First was security then a walk up some old worn stairs to find the new jurors room. I was the second person there but eventually the room was full of strangers. Nobody really spoke to each other to begin with. I'm guessing that was just nerves. The fact we were sat there from 09:15 to some point in the afternoon meant that eventually we would talk to each other. I seemed to be in the rowdy corner of the room. It was quite nice having a laugh with complete strangers. Eventually the usher came to take us in to court. We all had to stand at the back and if our name was called we had to say yes then take a seat in the jury box. I was hoping I wouldn't be called but I was. When all the extra jurors had left we had to each stand up in turn and read an oath or affirmation. I was the first to read the affirmation and you had to ask for it. I thought my heart would come out of my chest. I stumbled over the first words and was relieved to sit down. I never expected to stand up in court in front of everyone. It was a really intimidating experience. The court was like something from 100 years ago. These days I think they are modern like the ones you see on tv in the USA. I'm quite pleased we got to sit in an old court. It is quite strange seeing barristers and the judge dressed in their wigs and gowns. I guess you just don't really expect it other than on tv shows. The witnesses came and went, the prosecution and defence did their thing. As the days went by it all became normal and familiar. We would go to our room and wait to be called into court then listen to the information. It was the same for the whole week nearly. Then the time came for deliberation. We got taken to our room and our phones removed from us and we had to then decide the fate of this one person. It took us three days of highly charged discussion before a decision was made. There were a lot of emotions in that room. 12 people thrown together to essentially judge the actions of another. It was not an easy situation. When the time came to give the verdicts I remember feeling truly awful. I knew what the judge was going to tell the defendant but I wasn't prepared for him to deliver the sentence. I looked at the defendant as he was told and I don't think I will ever get over that moment. I had been part of sending someone to prison. By the letter of the law he was guilty but it was just a stupid mistake. We have all made stupid mistakes and nothing has come from it. This person had their whole life ruined. That I will never forget. I think it affected us all in different ways. The jurors I had the pleasure of meeting were all really nice and it's a shame we met in such horrible circumstances. In that week we had to deal with so much that unless you have done jury service you will never understand. It took over your whole life, your thoughts. The bit I was most anxious about before I started was deliberation and that is what has caused me the most sleepless nights. The case I was on was bad enough but I feel for any juror who has to hear a case involving any sort of abuse or assault. I just hope I never get called again.

Guitar Hero

My very first memory of being near a guitar was picking up my mothers huge acoustic guitar. It was always zipped away in its black case. I never saw her play it and to be honest I don't think she ever could. It was one of those ambitions adults have that never come to fruition. Only when little old me came along would the burly instrument see the light of day. Of course it was met with the usual cries of 'Leave that alone' or 'Put it away'. I don't know how old I was, maybe 8 or 9 so a full sized acoustic was like holding a double bass. It was also right handed. I don't know if it was then I discovered my natural way of holding a guitar or later. I didn't know the first thing about playing or tuning it so I would just strum away. When I was at primary school they started doing after school guitar lessons one year. So as any child does I asked my parents if I could have a guitar. They obliged and I vaguely remember getting my first right handed acoustic guitar. This is where the problem arose, it was right handed. I know that I really tried to learn how to play that thing but I just couldn't. There was something wrong and I didn't know what. Why was everyone else mastering it and not me? As every child does I eventually got bored and stopped learning, more through frustration I think. It was years later that it clicked that maybe if I had a left handed guitar I would be able to play. I was at an age where I had a job and could afford to buy myself one. So what did I buy? Yes, a black and white Stratocaster. My first adult guitar was electric and it came with an amp. I didn't want a boring acoustic I wanted to be a rocker. I bought myself books and a DVD. The DVD was specifically for lefties but the books were for righties so I spent ages figuring out the chords. I remember those first tricky attempts at playing. I just couldn't master this bloody guitar. Maybe this wasn't the instrument for me. Maybe I just wasn't meant to play the guitar in any shape or form. I kind of have up if I'm honest. One day after many filled with frustration I picked my guitar up. That day I had my eureka! moment. I actually strung some chords together. This gave me the motivation to carry on learning. Now there's one thing that I find highly irritating about myself. Impatience. If I can't do something straight away I get bored. The same with my guitar. Rather than bother to get lessons again or start with the basics, I wanted to learn songs. This is how I have learnt to play. This is how I have learnt chords and picking. I haven't played my guitar for a while but I picked it up the other day determined to learn a specific song. I bought a capo purely so I could learn this one song. It took a few hours but eventually I managed to stick together the picking pattern and chord changes. There was no other way to describe it than pure delight. Even though I haven't picked up a guitar for what may be months that day I felt like I had been playing for years. It felt so good hearing the music I was making. It even gave me the confidence to try and create my own music. I'll be no Eric Clapton and I'll never be able to play like my favourite musicians. What I do know is, my guitar won't be like my mothers hidden away in it's case with nobody able to play it.

Just another year

So another year has ended and another year has begun. Last year was mixed to say the least. It started off pretty bad but towards the end got better. I turned 30 which was a little distressing but I think I have gotten used to it now. It's only taken a couple of months. I started a new job which has it's ups and downs but so does everything. I upgraded my accommodation and downgraded my location. So what will this year hold? The same probably. Last year I decided I wanted to start going to the gym. That ended pretty quickly before I'd even started when I slipped a disc. One of the most painful things you can injure yourself. I don't think I'll reignite that plan anytime soon. What I have done is requested to try marshalling at Silverstone. I like Motorsport so it makes sense to do something associated to the thing I enjoy. I may hate it but on the other hand I may love it. For Christmas I received the Great British Bake Off cookbook and decided that I would bake my way through it. I then began watching Julie & Julia and realised that my plan mirrored the film minus the blog. I may give it a go anyway. You never know I may tap into some unknown talent but I sincerely doubt it. I don't make New Years resolutions because they always get broken. So far I haven't started smoking which is great despite the temptation being high at times. The only thing I would like to do is tick off a few things on my bucket list. Most of them involve travelling so I doubt I will achieve many of them. I feel like I sound negative but I like to think I'm being realistic. I'd rather not have the disappointment of failing to achieve things. At least with a bucket list I have an unspecified amount of time to complete them. So this year I have no plans really. I have no burning desire to do anything specific. Instead I will see how things go. Sometimes the best things are those which are unexpected.