A new start

Things have happened this year that I didn't expect to happen. Some of them were good and some of them were bad. I guess that's just life though. If it was perfect then we wouldn't learn from our experiences. October is the start of a new chapter in my life. A new job, moving house, quitting smoking and at the beginning of November I will no longer be in my twenties. Each of these has caused me some anxiety but I think that is normal. New job : When I applied for the job I never expected to be offered it. I thought my two years experience and the area in which I have been working would not be appropriate. Not to mention the problems I've had with my wrist. Nevertheless I got the job. The department manager was very flexible with regards to waiting for me to have my operation and the resulting complications to resolve. The Sister thought I had ITU experience but had clearly misheard the conversation. Yes I have ITU experience but not as a nurse but as a patient. During that conversation I began to worry that they had these preconceived ideas about my level of experience and was expecting this fabulous nurse but instead they were just getting me. To be honest I think it doesn't matter what your background is, A&E is a world of its own. It's a specialist area that you need to learn but you need to learn fast. I am looking forward to the challenge and I really hope it's not to big a challenge. Even if I don't like it I know that I will get great nursing experience from there. So after ten years working for the same NHS trust as of Sunday that stage of my working life will be over and a new one will begin. Moving house: I thought about commuting but it was just too far. I thought about my current life and made the decision to leave. Living in the countryside is great but there is nothing for me here. If I'm honest I don't really have a life. My friends live forty minutes away by car so it's not ideal. The only thing that I will miss is being near my family. It will be strange knowing they are no longer just down the road but things change and we have to move on. As a country bumpkin it will be difficult moving to a town but it will also have its benefits. Hopefully I'll make friends at work and I won't have to drive miles to see them. There's a gym right across from where I will be living which may give me the kick up the bum to do some exercise. There will be more opportunity on my doorstep than where I am now. I will be sad to leave but it's time to make a new start. Quitting smoking: I worked out that I've been smoking for about 13 years. Not something I'm particularly proud about I must admit. I don't even know how I got started, I guess it was peer pressure. It's a horrible habit and I've tried to quit before with no success. I tried using the inhalator on one attempt but found I was just smoking loads more than before. It sounds silly but every time I've tried to quit before it's never felt right. Almost like I was never truly committed and was just making a token effort. This time feels different, this time it feels like the right time. So far I've made it through 12 days which doesn't sound a lot but when you're addicted to something which is seven times more addictive than heroin then 12 days is an achievement. I just hope I haven't made too much of a mess of my internal organs. I guess now that I've stopped they will be able to repair themselves to some degree. It's a hard habit to break but I'm doing it one day at a time. 30: I'm not too keen on this number. At the beginning of November that will be my age. I know it's just a number but to me it's a large number. I look at people around me and see them married with children. It makes me feel like I've not lived my life properly. I should be playing happy families. Maybe it's just not meant to be for me. If I'm honest being 30 and being on my own does scare me a little bit. I wonder if I will be alone for the rest of my life or will I meet the person of my dreams and have a mini me? I think the number 30 to me means being an adult, a proper adult. Being in your twenties has a less responsible ring to it. It makes me feel young. Being in your thirties on the other hand makes me think of responsible adults with a mortgage and a career. It really is silly being worried about a number. Nothing will change on my birthday, I will still be me.